I Want To Tell Those Eyes



The window rattles every time a door is closed.

They are being closed all the time.

I place my hand on the window to stop it from rattling.

Unfortunately, this brings me to the point of being able to look outside

My hand tries to block my view, but I fail

I see out, where there is no rattle

My eyes meet another’s

I didn’t mean to

I want to tell those eyes that I didn’t mean to look

It just happened.

I’m just trying to hold the window steady

I want to tell those eyes that doors are constantly slamming


I want to tell those eyes how lucky they are

outside where doors can’t be slammed

where windows are not needed

I want to tell those eyes something passionate, clever

That it really isn’t about me, even though it is

That it really isn’t about those eyes, even though it is

That I can live without those eyes liking me, even though I want them to

Another door slams, my hand feels the vibration of the window

I can’t seem to stop the window from rattling

This entry was posted in Poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to I Want To Tell Those Eyes

  1. eurobrat says:

    Wow! Love this. Very nice rhythm to the writing.


  2. calensariel says:

    There is so much buried there beneath your words. I think a lot of us have slamming doors and rattling windows. It’s beautiful that you were brave enough to try to articulate it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. roughghosts says:

    Powerful and evocative. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mad Nettie says:

    You have a gift for metaphorical writing.

    It takes alot of emotional energy to keep windows shaking and doors slamming. I hope there is peace and tranquility in your home soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. dbp49 says:

    A wonderful piece of writing. Thank-you for sharing that.


  6. let your door of consciousness stay opened for ever 🙂


  7. Bliss says:

    Reblogged this on BLISS and commented:
    This is hauntingly beautiful.


  8. You are so talented! I love reading your writing.


  9. vivachange77 says:

    Penetrating words and images. I love the way your poem opens up to reveal the soul of the person confronting the windows and doors. Lovely.


  10. I can never stop the window either. Well done. Thanks for following my blog.


  11. may hem says:

    “I want to tell those eyes something passionate, clever” … woah


  12. withlovelexi says:

    Nice job!


  13. ursulablack says:

    I just posted a poem I’ve been working on (‘window gazing’) and then I saw yours. Eerie.
    Your take on the theme is beautiful.


  14. tchistorygal says:

    One commenter used the work haunting. I think that describes the feeling I get reading this poem. I wonder whose eyes, and what she sees in them. Beautifully written poem. Thanks for visiting my blog, and even more for following. Hope you enjoyed your visit at least half as much as I did yours! 🙂


  15. jimibodansko says:

    Elan, my advice would be to take a sledgehammer and smash the glass …. feel the air rush in and breathe deeply …. then, celebrate the gift of oxygen


  16. Honie Briggs says:

    I believe the window wants to fly open each time a door slams shut. This is exceptional. Thank you for bringing me to your site. I may not comment regularly, but I always read the blogs I follow. Sometimes WordPress plays tricks & drops blogs from my news feed, but I find my way back to the ones I miss. So, I will have my eyes on you.


  17. sofieemmy says:

    This is powerful and emotional. I felt a real connection to the narrative voice. All I can do is say thank you for writing a brilliant poem!


  18. Steven James says:

    I like the way this poem simply unfolds. Beautiful. Thanks

    Liked by 1 person

  19. this poor person lives a terrified life. How sad. Great writing!


  20. Oloriel says:

    I love the build up of turmoil which you created with the repetition, it makes the cycle of sadness seem so much more alive and despeare when reaching out from beyond the writen words.


  21. pndrgn99 says:

    I love the simple beauty the human soul reveal the light of courage
    in unadorned truth.

    BTW thank you for reading my work. I am even more touched now, having read yours.


  22. Beyond amazing! Your writing sounds like so many of my thoughts…how familiar. I love your perspective and the passion/depth that come through your writing. I’m so glad to have found your blog, thank you for following me. Hope this respite from the routine is treating you well. I look forward to some intelligent and creative reading…


  23. JonWesley says:

    I can’t explain why, but I feel this deeply. It made me laugh a little, as well as want to cry. Beautiful writing. I would like to reblog this in the days to come. Just beautiful…


  24. The building intensity, anxiety portrays a fragile vulnerabity. Superb.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Ranju says:

    Wow! That is ‘I am looking for an adjective’. Whoever you’re I respect you for your writing. Thanks for finding my blog 🙂


  26. schn00dles says:

    You got the stuff, girl.


  27. subitolove says:

    This is indeed scary. I suppose by this it means you have done a great job with your powerful language!


  28. pattyannihilate says:

    this makes me weep. brutal and real. thank you.


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