Posted on December 22, 2014
by Elan Mudrow
The window rattles every time a door is closed.
They are being closed all the time.
I place my hand on the window to stop it from rattling.
Unfortunately, this brings me to the point of being able to look outside
My hand tries to block my view, but I fail
I see out, where there is no rattle
My eyes meet another’s
I didn’t mean to
I want to tell those eyes that I didn’t mean to look
It just happened.
I’m just trying to hold the window steady
I want to tell those eyes that doors are constantly slamming
I want to tell those eyes how lucky they are
outside where doors can’t be slammed
where windows are not needed
I want to tell those eyes something passionate, clever
That it really isn’t about me, even though it is
That it really isn’t about those eyes, even though it is
That I can live without those eyes liking me, even though I want them to
Another door slams, my hand feels the vibration of the window
I can’t seem to stop the window from rattling
Category: PoetryTags: "Afictionette", Affection, Author, Creative Writing, Eyes, Hope, Inspiration, Life, Literature, Longing, Lost, Love, Passion, Poem, Poetry, Prison, Prose, Reading, Sadness, Spirituality, Writing
this makes me weep. brutal and real. thank you.
This is indeed scary. I suppose by this it means you have done a great job with your powerful language!
You got the stuff, girl.
Wow! That is ‘I am looking for an adjective’. Whoever you’re I respect you for your writing. Thanks for finding my blog 🙂
The building intensity, anxiety portrays a fragile vulnerabity. Superb.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks and I would be honored to have you reblog that poem.
I can’t explain why, but I feel this deeply. It made me laugh a little, as well as want to cry. Beautiful writing. I would like to reblog this in the days to come. Just beautiful…
Beyond amazing! Your writing sounds like so many of my thoughts…how familiar. I love your perspective and the passion/depth that come through your writing. I’m so glad to have found your blog, thank you for following me. Hope this respite from the routine is treating you well. I look forward to some intelligent and creative reading…
I love the simple beauty the human soul reveal the light of courage
in unadorned truth.
BTW thank you for reading my work. I am even more touched now, having read yours.
I love the build up of turmoil which you created with the repetition, it makes the cycle of sadness seem so much more alive and despeare when reaching out from beyond the writen words.
this poor person lives a terrified life. How sad. Great writing!
I like the way this poem simply unfolds. Beautiful. Thanks
I am honored and only can promise to do the same.
This is powerful and emotional. I felt a real connection to the narrative voice. All I can do is say thank you for writing a brilliant poem!
I believe the window wants to fly open each time a door slams shut. This is exceptional. Thank you for bringing me to your site. I may not comment regularly, but I always read the blogs I follow. Sometimes WordPress plays tricks & drops blogs from my news feed, but I find my way back to the ones I miss. So, I will have my eyes on you.
Elan, my advice would be to take a sledgehammer and smash the glass …. feel the air rush in and breathe deeply …. then, celebrate the gift of oxygen
One commenter used the work haunting. I think that describes the feeling I get reading this poem. I wonder whose eyes, and what she sees in them. Beautifully written poem. Thanks for visiting my blog, and even more for following. Hope you enjoyed your visit at least half as much as I did yours! 🙂
I just posted a poem I’ve been working on (‘window gazing’) and then I saw yours. Eerie.
Your take on the theme is beautiful.
“I want to tell those eyes something passionate, clever” … woah
I can never stop the window either. Well done. Thanks for following my blog.
Penetrating words and images. I love the way your poem opens up to reveal the soul of the person confronting the windows and doors. Lovely.
You are so talented! I love reading your writing.
Reblogged this on BLISS and commented:
This is hauntingly beautiful.
let your door of consciousness stay opened for ever 🙂
A wonderful piece of writing. Thank-you for sharing that.
You have a gift for metaphorical writing.
It takes alot of emotional energy to keep windows shaking and doors slamming. I hope there is peace and tranquility in your home soon.
Powerful and evocative. Thank you for sharing.
There is so much buried there beneath your words. I think a lot of us have slamming doors and rattling windows. It’s beautiful that you were brave enough to try to articulate it.
Wow! Love this. Very nice rhythm to the writing.
You are insightful! Cool!
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