Beanies Are Babyish

Posted on March 16, 2015 by Elan Mudrow

23 Comments

Hairnets keep things in place

Caps are con artists

Indecisive little shits, who

Don’t want to be pinned down

Derbies are dumbfounded

Stovepipes are bearded with warts

Stocking caps muffle their words

Then get lost in the snow

Unless they have a tassel

Then they cause a hassle

Hair ties hate scalps

Fedoras sing like Sinatra

Drink like Dean, Dance like Sammy

Trucker’s caps have stinky-ass breath

And wake up with hangovers

Bonnets are prudes

Berets fake French

And are prone to Be-Bopping

Nightcaps, really, is anyone that perverted?

Turbans turn the facts around

Pork pies are chubsters

Veils don’t know how to do their makeup

Fezzes hide their bald spots

Helmets beat things up

Then claim self-defense

Are into a cult called Game Time

Where priests dish out penalties

Panamas reek like cigars

Stetsons talk very slowly

Like they mean something

But it’s all just sweaty nothings

Visors are all the wiser

Unless it’s raining

Then they dumb down

Beanies are babyish

23 Comments on “Beanies Are Babyish”

Don Ostertag
March 16, 2015

Nice work! I am afraid I will never be able to look at a hat again in the usual way.

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edwinasepisodes
March 16, 2015

Very clever, and I love the pics you use. 🙂

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Daleen
March 16, 2015

These are my favourite posts! I always look forward to finding out more about the articles of clothing (and the people) in my life

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Elan Mudrow
March 16, 2015

Thanks. I don’t know whether I should include these poems in an anthology among the others or have them as a separate chapbook. Any suggestions?

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Daleen
March 16, 2015

I do believe these poems deserve their own book. Please let me know as soon as it is published!

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Elan Mudrow
March 16, 2015

Thanks. I think you’re right. And, of course, will do.

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cote8050
March 16, 2015

That was really great!!

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Elan Mudrow
March 16, 2015

Thanks!

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kaytisweetlandrasmussen83
March 16, 2015

So clever. I will make sure not to wear a beanie, but I’ll have to keep checking to see what else I can put on my head.

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familyrulesbyplainjane
March 16, 2015

This is so fun!

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john flanagan
March 16, 2015

A joy to read, Elan – Thank You

Best Wishes

john

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grantman
March 16, 2015

Paper hats are funny
then they laugh at you behind you back !

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Simon Lenthen
March 16, 2015

Separate chap book, then a section in a collection.

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Elan Mudrow
March 16, 2015

Ahh. Perfect.

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calensariel
March 16, 2015

My gawd, what a wonderful picture. And I loved the reference to the Rat Pack. This is so adorable. You really know how to give clothes a personality of their own! LOL

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Elan Mudrow
March 16, 2015

Isn’t the old saying, the clothes make the person? But, it’s the people who make the clothes. Irony, I tell ya.

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calensariel
March 16, 2015

I think you should work for Disney or Pixar!

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talesbytink
March 16, 2015

Thanks, that made me think and smile, two of my favourite things to do.

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grantman
March 17, 2015

and of course… Pith helmets are always cocky and have a way of getting you killed!

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Sherrie de Valeria
March 17, 2015

I prefer those than caps though. 🙂

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Elan Mudrow
March 17, 2015

I know what you mean.

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Miz_Akwele
March 18, 2015

Hahahaha awesome

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Dara
March 23, 2015

Hats. Who knew? Nice poem. Thanks also for your not so recent follow! Keep up the good work.

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