Elan Mudrow
Smidgens
Beanies Are Babyish
Hairnets keep things in place
Caps are con artists
Indecisive little shits, who
Don’t want to be pinned down
Derbies are dumbfounded
Stovepipes are bearded with warts
Stocking caps muffle their words
Then get lost in the snow
Unless they have a tassel
Then they cause a hassle
Hair ties hate scalps
Fedoras sing like Sinatra
Drink like Dean, Dance like Sammy
Trucker’s caps have stinky-ass breath
And wake up with hangovers
Bonnets are prudes
Berets fake French
And are prone to Be-Bopping
Nightcaps, really, is anyone that perverted?
Turbans turn the facts around
Pork pies are chubsters
Veils don’t know how to do their makeup
Fezzes hide their bald spots
Helmets beat things up
Then claim self-defense
Are into a cult called Game Time
Where priests dish out penalties
Panamas reek like cigars
Stetsons talk very slowly
Like they mean something
But it’s all just sweaty nothings
Visors are all the wiser
Unless it’s raining
Then they dumb down
Beanies are babyish
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23 Comments on “Beanies Are Babyish”
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Nice work! I am afraid I will never be able to look at a hat again in the usual way.
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Very clever, and I love the pics you use. 🙂
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These are my favourite posts! I always look forward to finding out more about the articles of clothing (and the people) in my life
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Thanks. I don’t know whether I should include these poems in an anthology among the others or have them as a separate chapbook. Any suggestions?
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I do believe these poems deserve their own book. Please let me know as soon as it is published!
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Thanks. I think you’re right. And, of course, will do.
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That was really great!!
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Thanks!
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So clever. I will make sure not to wear a beanie, but I’ll have to keep checking to see what else I can put on my head.
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This is so fun!
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A joy to read, Elan – Thank You
Best Wishes
john
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Paper hats are funny
then they laugh at you behind you back !
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Separate chap book, then a section in a collection.
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Ahh. Perfect.
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My gawd, what a wonderful picture. And I loved the reference to the Rat Pack. This is so adorable. You really know how to give clothes a personality of their own! LOL
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Isn’t the old saying, the clothes make the person? But, it’s the people who make the clothes. Irony, I tell ya.
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I think you should work for Disney or Pixar!
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Thanks, that made me think and smile, two of my favourite things to do.
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and of course… Pith helmets are always cocky and have a way of getting you killed!
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I prefer those than caps though. 🙂
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I know what you mean.
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Hahahaha awesome
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Hats. Who knew? Nice poem. Thanks also for your not so recent follow! Keep up the good work.
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