Never Smooch A Brooch



Nancy Cunard

Nancy Cunard

Always walk arm and arm

With a purse. They’re insecure

And get addicted to junk

Don’t listen to babbling bracelets

They get caught up in the apparel

Never hang out with a trashy trinket

Necklaces will fool you

With spoiled-ass sweet talk

Keep them behind buttons

Or they’ll wink at any old dog tag

Don’t let a ring control things

Anklets can be footloose

Make sure they wear bells while jingling

Earrings think they’re trapeze artists

Dangling high, unless their studs

Then one’s fine, two’s ok

Three or more is an orgy

Toe rings stink

Don’t give into those

Snotty little nose rings

Divulge nothing to pinky rings

They’re not mature enough

For indiscriminate indexing

Can you believe the gall of the tiara?

Never let a choker get its hands on you

Bangles are for bums and beehives

Rosaries want to wait until they’re married

Then all hell breaks loose

Never smooch a brooch

Heavy Woman In Costume



This entry was posted in Poetry, The Fashioned Series and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to Never Smooch A Brooch

  1. If this is how I see how stuffs are using your eyes, then I’ll be very suspicious with all my jewelery! LOL 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Andrea C. says:

    Love this! How refreshingly unique and rhythmic.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great piece, Elan! Funny, with a fresh approach to everyday things; reminds me a bit of Ogden Nash. Way to go! Jamy

    Liked by 1 person

  4. blkkat49 says:

    Intriguing. You must have quite the haberdashery, between the hats, and now the jewelry. Can’t wait to meet the next cheeky accessories.


  5. vjearle says:

    Love it! Made me smile. Jewelry says so much about the wearer.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. calensariel says:

    LOL I’m sitting here trying to imagine this as a picture book!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ian Hamlin says:

    Fantastic! NEVER smooch a brooch! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. erbiage says:

    Cheeky! never smooch a brooch, especially not the pin side!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. M-R says:

    Wonderful imagination ! – I’m impressed. And jealous.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Reblogged this on Tall tales from valerie and commented:
    Hey people. I have a little something from Elan Mudrow. I like this. A lot. Elan knows how to use words. You should check out the blog “Elan Mudrow”.



  11. tundewrites says:

    The style brings a new perception, never smooch a brooch! Nice!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. A very proud and powerful piece! Very extensive and visual, I love the concept of jewelry and luxury weighing down the true soul inside. Good writing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I love this! So creative.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. lilly1949 says:

    But…I love a pretty brooch!


  15. Spec Fic Girl says:

    Beware the choker…

    Loved reading this, Elan! I think you’ve effectively covered the contents of my jewelery collection. 😉


  16. Shirley Burley says:

    Awesome! Love to ascribe personalities to inanimate objects 🙂


  17. The Rose Alchemist says:

    Oh my gosh, I love these Fashion series! They’re really entertaining to read.


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