Never Smooch A Brooch



Nancy Cunard
Nancy Cunard

Always walk arm and arm

With a purse. They’re insecure

And get addicted to junk

Don’t listen to babbling bracelets

They get caught up in the apparel

Never hang out with a trashy trinket

Necklaces will fool you

With spoiled-ass sweet talk

Keep them behind buttons

Or they’ll wink at any old dog tag

Don’t let a ring control things

Anklets can be footloose

Make sure they wear bells while jingling

Earrings think they’re trapeze artists

Dangling high, unless their studs

Then one’s fine, two’s ok

Three or more is an orgy

Toe rings stink

Don’t give into those

Snotty little nose rings

Divulge nothing to pinky rings

They’re not mature enough

For indiscriminate indexing

Can you believe the gall of the tiara?

Never let a choker get its hands on you

Bangles are for bums and beehives

Rosaries want to wait until they’re married

Then all hell breaks loose

Never smooch a brooch

Heavy Woman In Costume



31 Comments on “Never Smooch A Brooch

  1. Oh my gosh, I love these Fashion series! They’re really entertaining to read.


  2. Awesome! Love to ascribe personalities to inanimate objects 🙂


  3. Beware the choker…

    Loved reading this, Elan! I think you’ve effectively covered the contents of my jewelery collection. 😉


  4. A very proud and powerful piece! Very extensive and visual, I love the concept of jewelry and luxury weighing down the true soul inside. Good writing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Intriguing. You must have quite the haberdashery, between the hats, and now the jewelry. Can’t wait to meet the next cheeky accessories.


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