Woolens Are Overprotective
Posted on April 2, 2015
by Elan Mudrow
48 Comments

Argyles are in cahoots
With high waters
And can recite, from memory,
Dialogue from Star Trek
Nylons want to make
Believe they are free and easy
But run when the going gets tough
Woolens are overprotective
Leg warmers brag
And want to be looked at
Especially if teamed with cut-offs
Knee-highs play games
But are slipped off easily
No-shows always peek, peep,
and take a gander at bony ankles
Crew socks are players
Dress socks have personality disorders.
They go to church, weddings, funerals
And dinner parties, Otherwise,
They stay at home in the drawer.
Panty hose, Ahh fuck, who named those?
Tights need to keep it together
Stay positive, be sensible, never droop
Or get too down about things
Toe socks get overly attached
Sock puppets are imposters
Never believe them
They are gloves! I swear!
Tubing needs to be outlawed
Fishnets catch more then they can handle
Bobby socks can be found lurking
Around retirement facilities
And should be over the calf by now
Socklets need to grow up and get over it

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Category: Poetry, The Fashioned SeriesTags: Accessories, Author, Clothes, Clothing, Comedy, Fashion, Humor, Love, Poem, Poetry, Relationships, Socks, The Fashioned Series, Writer, Writing
Thanks so much!
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Haha ! Love this !
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Reblogged this on My Grandfather was an Undertaker and commented:
If you have never read any of Elan’s ‘The Fashion Series’, here is a taste. You can see an entire wardrobe of associations to characters on her blog
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I can’t believe I somehow missed this post! I always frantically open my mails and scan through them for your commentary on clothing and characters. I always thought of fishnets as whores in training and black shimmer nylons as the ones who qualified… Reblogging this on https://undertakerstories.wordpress.com/
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I love the mundane given life (and much humor, in this case) and will never, in life, look at socks of any kind with a straight face again! Awesome read!
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Reblogged this on Reven Archer Black: Author of Fantasy & Speculative Fiction and commented:
Giggling at this fantastic, witty piece by Elan Mudrow. Truly a fun read. Three of my fave lines just to whet the literary appetite…
“Nylons want to make
Believe they are free and easy
But run when the going gets tough”
Ain’t that the truth.
– RAB
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Thanks
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LOVE the personifications! It takes some clever thinking to come up with that many unique identities for something as mundane as socks! >:P
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This is cute, in a sort of Suess-ish way. Definitely made me feel a little happier today.
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I love it!
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Thanks so much. I can’t get to the rest of your stuff.
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Still here. I am transfixed by your writing. The hats, the bridge, the rain dialogue. Wow! Just wow!
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Thanks
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Enjoyed reading this clever observation of such a mundane thing. Only a poet!
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Thanks
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Cleverly done and effortlessly funny yet it made me think. Bravo I really liked it!
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Sock puppets are imposters…love it!
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A Sock-Man, I see. And very well done.
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Thanks
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This is SO clever!
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fantastic
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Somebody already took the words right out of……..”This is brilliant!” (Refrain) (Dal Segno)
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Thanks for the follow. Love this poem – and the photos!
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Really fun! I love this. 🙂
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This made me laugh out loud. Brilliant work.
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So cute and funny!
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Lovely legs and the leggings (I am a guy) are awesome.
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Thanks
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Yes. That would be an honor.
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Beautiful!
Hiba
http://www.cloudoflace.com
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Wow, this is a great poem! Can I share it to Grey Suit: Poem Stream?
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I love this! Very amusing. Sock puppets are definitely imposters! 🙂
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Thank You
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The panty hose line did it for me! Second fave is the nerd Star Trek part. Enjoying your imagination very much.
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Wonderful poem, really clever. I do love the pics that you use too 🙂
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Ha ha haaaa! So clever and really hilarious! Thanks.
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!!
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Well maybe you should tackle them next. 🙂
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I’d love to put words in the mouths of dishes.
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Nylons want to make Believe they are free and easy But run when the going gets tough / Dress socks have personality disorders… Oh, you DO need to be writing for Disney. I can just picture you writing dialog for something like the dishes in Beauty and the Beast. LOL
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This was positively hilarious! Had me grinning ear to ear. 🙂
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YUK! YUK!! WHAT A FANTASTIC PIECE!! SOOOOOOOOOO FUN – MADE MY DAY!! LOVELY, GREAT WORK.. Mari
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You’re entirely welcome and thank you!
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YUK! YUK!! WHAT A FUN PIECE !! THANKS FOR THE FUN PIECE!1 MADE MY DAY!! Mari
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Thanks!
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Reblogged this on Off The Cuff's Poetry Sleeve and commented:
A wonderful musing on the mystery of footie wear.
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Thanks
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This is brilliant!!
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