Woolens Are Overprotective

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Argyles are in cahoots

With high waters

And can recite, from memory,

Dialogue from Star Trek

Nylons want to make

Believe they are free and easy

But run when the going gets tough

Woolens are overprotective

Leg warmers brag

And want to be looked at

Especially if teamed with cut-offs

Knee-highs play games

But are slipped off easily

No-shows always peek, peep,

and take a gander at bony ankles

Crew socks are players

Dress socks have personality disorders.

They go to church, weddings, funerals

And dinner parties, Otherwise,

They stay at home in the drawer.

Panty hose, Ahh fuck, who named those?

Tights need to keep it together

Stay positive, be sensible, never droop

Or get too down about things

Toe socks get overly attached

Sock puppets are imposters

Never believe them

They are gloves! I swear!

Tubing needs to be outlawed

Fishnets catch more then they can handle

Bobby socks can be found lurking

Around retirement facilities

And should be over the calf by now

Socklets need to grow up and get over it

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48 Responses to Woolens Are Overprotective

  1. ankursurin says:

    This is brilliant!!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Reblogged this on Off The Cuff's Poetry Sleeve and commented:
    A wonderful musing on the mystery of footie wear.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. marialla says:

    YUK! YUK!! WHAT A FUN PIECE !! THANKS FOR THE FUN PIECE!1 MADE MY DAY!! Mari

    Liked by 1 person

  4. marialla says:

    YUK! YUK!! WHAT A FANTASTIC PIECE!! SOOOOOOOOOO FUN – MADE MY DAY!! LOVELY, GREAT WORK.. Mari

    Like

  5. darendark says:

    This was positively hilarious! Had me grinning ear to ear. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. calensariel says:

    Nylons want to make Believe they are free and easy But run when the going gets tough / Dress socks have personality disorders… Oh, you DO need to be writing for Disney. I can just picture you writing dialog for something like the dishes in Beauty and the Beast. LOL

    Like

  7. nydia says:

    Ha ha haaaa! So clever and really hilarious! Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Wonderful poem, really clever. I do love the pics that you use too 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. The panty hose line did it for me! Second fave is the nerd Star Trek part. Enjoying your imagination very much.

    Like

  10. afairymind says:

    I love this! Very amusing. Sock puppets are definitely imposters! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Wow, this is a great poem! Can I share it to Grey Suit: Poem Stream?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Lovely legs and the leggings (I am a guy) are awesome.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. bowmanauthor says:

    So cute and funny!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Arwen says:

    This made me laugh out loud. Brilliant work.

    Like

  15. vivachange77 says:

    Really fun! I love this. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. mmwelch says:

    Thanks for the follow. Love this poem – and the photos!

    Like

  17. Somebody already took the words right out of……..”This is brilliant!” (Refrain) (Dal Segno)

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Dusty Writes says:

    This is SO clever!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. crimsonprose says:

    A Sock-Man, I see. And very well done.

    Like

  20. Katie Z. says:

    Sock puppets are imposters…love it!

    Like

  21. DilwinK says:

    Cleverly done and effortlessly funny yet it made me think. Bravo I really liked it!

    Like

  22. lilly1949 says:

    Enjoyed reading this clever observation of such a mundane thing. Only a poet!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. This is cute, in a sort of Suess-ish way. Definitely made me feel a little happier today.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. zacharybinks19 says:

    LOVE the personifications! It takes some clever thinking to come up with that many unique identities for something as mundane as socks! >:P

    Like

  25. Spec Fic Girl says:

    Reblogged this on Reven Archer Black: Author of Fantasy & Speculative Fiction and commented:
    Giggling at this fantastic, witty piece by Elan Mudrow. Truly a fun read. Three of my fave lines just to whet the literary appetite…

    “Nylons want to make
    Believe they are free and easy
    But run when the going gets tough”

    Ain’t that the truth.
    – RAB

    Like

  26. jason c. segarra says:

    I love the mundane given life (and much humor, in this case) and will never, in life, look at socks of any kind with a straight face again! Awesome read!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Daleen says:

    I can’t believe I somehow missed this post! I always frantically open my mails and scan through them for your commentary on clothing and characters. I always thought of fishnets as whores in training and black shimmer nylons as the ones who qualified… Reblogging this on https://undertakerstories.wordpress.com/

    Like

  28. Daleen says:

    Reblogged this on My Grandfather was an Undertaker and commented:
    If you have never read any of Elan’s ‘The Fashion Series’, here is a taste. You can see an entire wardrobe of associations to characters on her blog

    Like

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