Hardboiled Stinks


Don’t let biscuits be hard on you

Just give ‘em a little dunk

And they’ll soften right up

Bacon crumbles under pressure

Unless they’re Canadian

Then they become really taxing

Why does Benedict need a fucking muffin!

Who does he think he is?

Remember, you can always scramble

If you can’t get fried

Sunny side up appears to be happy

But is easily broken down

Into a runny, crying mess

Hardboiled stinks

Toast tries to be nice

With its whole grain

And empathetic sourdough

But usually arrives all dried out

Needing a bit of buttering up

Hash browns are grease monkeys

Don’t ever waffle

Over an important syrup

When the coffee arrives hungover

The juice always strains in

With a “I told you so”

Stuck in its pulp

Pancakes are whores…

Potatoes, strawberries

Blueberries, buckwheat

Buttermilk, Swedish

You name it

Pancakes will do it



This entry was posted in Poetry, The Fashioned Series and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to Hardboiled Stinks

  1. In canada biscuts are made of steel and hard work!


  2. BeginnerBeaute says:

    That was entertaining, loved it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lata Sunil says:

    Fun breakfast!


  4. As a war baby Spam was very much part of my early years’s diet. My favourie American breakfast is baking powder biscuits with sausage gravy, and grits.


  5. Chinelo says:

    Yummy, someone’s tummy is rumbling


  6. calensariel says:

    “Sunny side up appears to be happy
    But is easily broken down
    Into a runny, crying mess” Loved that! (I almost hate to admit it but I’m a real fan of Spam! LOL Try Spam Fried Rice! It’s great!)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. vivachange77 says:

    I love your oldies pictures. Funny thing about the mood of eggs. 🙂


  8. I love the visualization I got when reading but that’s just how I process. It’s great!!!


  9. mytreetv says:

    Pancakes are whores… Everyone is a slut for something…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. grantman says:

    Loved that! I’m jealous….


  11. Hey! Sometimes there is a great deal to be said for all things Canadian. 😉


  12. aubrey says:

    Spam spelled backwards is maps. Could that be significant?

    I love breakfast potatoes. I especially love the thick, country-style ones: so loyal to their roots; they refuse to be city-fried.


  13. Laurie Welch says:

    I just love your historical photographs. They make the past so present 🙂


  14. christy says:

    Hahaha. I really enjoyed this.


  15. leilurue says:

    First off, thank you for the follow. Secondly, this is very well written, LOVED it.


  16. chungwipff says:

    I like your work. I really like your poem “Hardboiled Stinks.”


  17. hmekeel says:

    I really like the last part about pancakes. How clever!


  18. Joshua Cooper says:

    Nice take on breakfast. Pancakes…

    Dr. Jules Hilbert: Hell Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted.

    Harold Crick: What is wrong with you? Hey, I don’t want to eat nothing but pancakes, I want to live! I mean, who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living chooses pancakes?

    Dr. Jules Hilbert: Harold, if you pause to think, you’d realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led… and, of course, the quality of the pancakes. ”
    ― Zach Helm, Stranger Than Fiction Script


  19. rosemeyer4 says:

    Great job on this one. It was thoroughly amusing.


  20. mariajay76 says:

    Does anyone else really, really want IHOP right now?

    Liked by 1 person

  21. CurvyLou says:

    Ah ha, I see anthropomorphism is one of your strengths! So glad I stopped by to look around, and thank you for following my blog. (:


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