Hardboiled Stinks


Don’t let biscuits be hard on you

Just give ‘em a little dunk

And they’ll soften right up

Bacon crumbles under pressure

Unless they’re Canadian

Then they become really taxing

Why does Benedict need a fucking muffin!

Who does he think he is?

Remember, you can always scramble

If you can’t get fried

Sunny side up appears to be happy

But is easily broken down

Into a runny, crying mess

Hardboiled stinks

Toast tries to be nice

With its whole grain

And empathetic sourdough

But usually arrives all dried out

Needing a bit of buttering up

Hash browns are grease monkeys

Don’t ever waffle

Over an important syrup

When the coffee arrives hungover

The juice always strains in

With a “I told you so”

Stuck in its pulp

Pancakes are whores…

Potatoes, strawberries

Blueberries, buckwheat

Buttermilk, Swedish

You name it

Pancakes will do it



31 Comments on “Hardboiled Stinks

  1. Ah ha, I see anthropomorphism is one of your strengths! So glad I stopped by to look around, and thank you for following my blog. (:


  2. Nice take on breakfast. Pancakes…

    Dr. Jules Hilbert: Hell Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted.

    Harold Crick: What is wrong with you? Hey, I don’t want to eat nothing but pancakes, I want to live! I mean, who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living chooses pancakes?

    Dr. Jules Hilbert: Harold, if you pause to think, you’d realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led… and, of course, the quality of the pancakes. ”
    ― Zach Helm, Stranger Than Fiction Script


  3. Thanks. If you like that one, look at the poems under the category “The Fashioned Series”. I’ll be back to read more of your work.


  4. I like your work. I really like your poem “Hardboiled Stinks.”


  5. Spam spelled backwards is maps. Could that be significant?

    I love breakfast potatoes. I especially love the thick, country-style ones: so loyal to their roots; they refuse to be city-fried.


  6. I love the visualization I got when reading but that’s just how I process. It’s great!!!


  7. “Sunny side up appears to be happy
    But is easily broken down
    Into a runny, crying mess” Loved that! (I almost hate to admit it but I’m a real fan of Spam! LOL Try Spam Fried Rice! It’s great!)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. As a war baby Spam was very much part of my early years’s diet. My favourie American breakfast is baking powder biscuits with sausage gravy, and grits.


Join The Discussion

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: