Unfortunate Cookies

fortune-cookie-sayings-14190729-1Unfortunate Cookies – Complete With Translation Errors 

  • Something you lost will soon turn up, like your wife.
  • Fame and fortune will soon belong to somebody else.
  • You will be invited to an extremely boring event.
  • The one you love is closer than you think. Run!
  • Better to press shirt than to bench press.
  • Love is for the lucky and the brave, neither of which you belong.
  • You will live a short and miserable life.
  • Sun always shines brightest during a drought.
  • You will enjoy good health after a long series of illnesses.
  • Happiness is an inside job and you are standing on the outside.
  • Your present plans are finally going to succeed. Happy 102nd birthday.
  • Shit surrounds you because you create it.
  • You never hesitate to fuck up the most easiest problems.
  • Never count one’s toes while measuring one’s life.
  • You will gain something you always wanted, then lose it all.
  • You will have many friends who annoy you.
  • You will soon die, after living, maybe.
  • Your smile is a treasure for your dentist.
  • Long life awaits you in your storage space.
  • You will enjoy many a great poops.
  • You will enjoy a great many poops.
  • You have a deep interest in all that is perverted.
  • All you hard work will pay off, after taxes.
  • You have the ability to touch the livers of many people.
  • You will kill all your friends with your niceness.
  • It’s time to explore new interests, because the old ones are really boring.
  • You are able to juggle large heavy projects.
  • Take advantage of your parents while the opportunity persists.
  • Your creativity will take you to unexpected misery.
  • Luck is the resin of good pipe dreams
  • Doors will be slamming for you
  • If you continually give, soon you will be out of everything you own.
  • You will conquer all obstetricians.
  • Patience doesn’t wait in line.
  • The secret of getting ahead is saving all your decapitations.
  • It’s better to scramble a hen then to fry an egg in your face.
  • You have a repellent personality.
  • Friends are like chocolate chips. You can never stop eating them.
  • The current year will bring you much happiness. Happy New Year’s Eve!
  • Be prepared for big and small things to fall on your foot.
  • Birthdays are like friends. The more you have the more you wish would go away.
  • Anything is possible when you own a large bank account.
  • Wise are they who do not dumb down
  • Your ingenuity will ruin everything.
  • Laugh long and prosper

Your lucky numbers: Have all been used up


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