Would you look where you’re going?
Dig that head out of your device.
Take a sure step ahead
Or a car will end your streak
Of cute emojis
Just wait a minute
Put the Me Phone in your pocket
And stop acting like an Android
You don’t need to find out
If Suzy wants to go out on a date
Within seconds of you asking her
You don’t need to ask your wife
If she wants one ply or two ply
Her ass if fine
No, you didn’t find something collectable.
Get off of E-bay!
If you knew anything about collectables
You wouldn’t need the phone!
We don’t need another photo
Of the Taj Mahal on Instagram
No, the filters won’t help
It’s not shaded sizzling blue or
Hot-to-trot California fuchsia
And we don’t need to see your smiling
Fat head in front of it, either
Instead of a meaningless game
That you must reach
The next level to
Try making it to the next
Chapter of a fucking book!
Stories should not be six words long
Quotes are cute
But on Twitter, they’re
Usually sappy or plagiarized
Sometimes it takes a little communication
To be smart about things
Try talking to people
Just consider it the new app