The New App

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Would you look where you’re going?

Dig that head out of your device.

Take a sure step ahead

Or a car will end your streak

Of cute emojis  

Just wait a minute

Put the Me Phone in your pocket

And stop acting like an Android

You don’t need to find out

If Suzy wants to go out on a date

Within seconds of you asking her

You don’t need to ask your wife

If she wants one ply or two ply

Her ass if fine

No, you didn’t find something collectable.

Get off of E-bay!

If you knew anything about collectables

You wouldn’t need the phone!

We don’t need another photo

Of the Taj Mahal on Instagram

No, the filters won’t help

It’s not shaded sizzling blue or

Hot-to-trot California fuchsia  

And we don’t need to see your smiling

Fat head in front of it, either

Instead of a meaningless game

That you must reach

The next level to

Try making it to the next

Chapter of a fucking book!

Stories should not be six words long

Quotes are cute

But on Twitter, they’re

Usually sappy or plagiarized

Sometimes it takes a little communication

To be smart about things

Try talking to people

Just consider it the new app

 

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51 Responses to The New App

  1. You had me smirking all the way through. I especially enjoyed your critic of the six word story. At first they seem interesting but never as good as a well crafted piece of prose. Thanks for the poignant smile 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. tchistorygal says:

    hahaha Very cute and appropriate!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, for a simple phone call…..

    Like

  4. Every kid in that cartoon needs an extra twenty pounds on him to make it authentic.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I miss the days of checking my mailbox…you know…the one the mailman puts letters in? Yeah, it’s still by the road, lonely.

    Like

  6. I’m with you here, but I’m one of those people always glued to their phone!

    Like

  7. A kindred spirit. Today, any decisions, however minor, are made by committee. Whose with that demon hooked to their ear cannot think for themselves.

    Like

  8. Loved this…a wonderful reminder for even those of us who do read books on end that we could do with more human interaction and less phone time …

    Like

  9. Lady CAS says:

    Love it! I enjoy putting down technology and just opening a good old fashioned book. I love the feel of it, the weight, and the turning of the pages. I love knowing that when the power goes out it will still work, and that all I need moonlight, stars, or the sun. I don’t need friggin chargers, lol. And don’t get me started on live entertainment (NIRVANA).

    Like

    • Elan Mudrow says:

      I use a cash register from the 1920s. People are always surprised when they see me use it and consider it quaint. I’ve noticed, as a culture, we don’t seem to be exposed to things that are different very often, when at the same time we think we have, at our fingertips, the idiosyncrasies of the entire world.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lady CAS says:

        That is awesome! I love looking at those by the way they are so elegant looking. I tend to be very much against trying to be like everyone else but then there are those things that you find you just enjoy being like everyone else about even if NOT at the same time. I love the beach (at any time really ) but not so much in the summer (i go in the fall and winter). I also love using old school training equipment that my great-grandfather used when he was a boxer, it’s fun and really cool. Minus the things that might get ya killed, LOL. Even the old school bike from the 1920s and 1940s. The cable pulls! Some things you have to leave alone though because you may lose an eye, or a limb, LOL

        Like

  10. Just Joan says:

    My sentiments exactly, Elan! I have a “smart” phone, but often “forget” to carry it with me or turn it on. For my poetry class, we had to write a poem explaining texting to a person living before 1876 (the year telephone was invented). Mine was called “Pandora’s Box.”

    Like

    • Elan Mudrow says:

      Yes, and people get mad when you don’t text them back within a certain amount of time. I know a few luddites out there who refuse to have one. But, still they are dealing with the changing culture around them. This poem is obviously a rant, but it’s really, centrally, an observation about communication. I’m not proposing burning down technology, but perhaps a little macro thinking needs to be added to the micro.

      Like

  11. Sally says:

    We used to talk into the night. Where did all the words go? Soon there will be nothing left to say and no words to say it with. lol? Sally.

    Like

    • Elan Mudrow says:

      Perhaps, we are talking too much without the ability to hear how the words sound. That probably should have been my poem. You know how you get a feeling from somebody when you “hear” what their voice sounds like? What if MLK’s “I have a dream” speech was a text? It wouldn’t fit on Twitter. What would it sound like?

      Like

  12. trE says:

    Clever, what you did here:

    “You don’t need to ask your wife

    If she wants one ply or two ply

    Her ass if fine

    No, you didn’t find something collectable.

    Get off of E-bay!

    If you knew anything about collectables

    You wouldn’t need the phone!”

    And, I love six word stories, however, I admire how you folded them, shredded their syllables, and shoved them in the garbage in this poem. Great writing, here. 🙂

    Like

  13. Eyyy! I agree. :))
    (Although I’m sort of hypocritical because I’m reading this on WP right now)

    Like

  14. iamme828 says:

    So much truth. It’s not real unless you view it through your camera phone.

    Like

  15. I agree with your insightful poem Too bad I’m about as hooked on technology as everyone else.

    Like

  16. This is perfect! I’ve been complaining about folks who stick their heads in their phones as they hog the street (drivers and pedestrians alike!)
    You write cleverly! Me-Phone and walking like Androids, I chuckled at that.
    And, the book! Yes, make it to the next chapter of the book!

    Like

  17. My favourite app is my porch. I see the coolest videos from my plastic blue adirondack (<–no idea) chair.

    Like

  18. This made me smile throughout the whole thing! This is awesome 🙂

    Like

  19. Ralph says:

    BFF, I 🙂 YR TXT, . WTG !
    ROFLMAO ! OMG ! ….OTOH, WTF ?
    G2G TTFN

    Like

  20. vivachange77 says:

    I am so with you. I don’t have an app to my name though I do appreciate other people using their GPS when we are lost..

    Like

  21. DuPe says:

    Reblogged this on dupewrites.

    Like

  22. sparshsehgal says:

    What a superb poem this. And the new app idea is fantastic. I love the way you view it away from the convention.
    I have nominated you for an award. Please check my blog for more details if time permits. Thanks
    http://www.sparshsehgal.wordpress.com

    Like

  23. mesheblog says:

    It’s funny reading this because I couldn’t agree more. I am so guilty of being someone who has lost themselves in technology. I wish people would talk more versus hey let’s text instead of live a little. Could you imagine if Youtube made their next challenge be something worthwhile like stop using your cellphones for a week and revisit the human society? That would be worth following. Love this!!!

    Like

  24. Very true words, expertly pronounced.

    Like

  25. Well put! Made me reflect on my own use and engagement.

    Like

  26. I truly enjoy your poems every time I take the time to read them. And with this current poem I understand it so well. I am not one of those people who are constantly on her phone every second of the day with nothing else to do. I watch other people playing on their phone instead.

    I’d be guilty instead if you mention the computer. I am in most cases on my computer watching anime or reading manga instead, lol. But I know when to unplug and leave it be. Some people nowadays just do not know how to do that anymore.

    Like

  27. Pingback: The New App #poetry  – Engineer Marine Skipper

  28. sparkyjen says:

    I do look up from my phone more times than not. I love people. No device will ever take the place of in -person interaction for me. Got a chuckle out of article though!

    Like

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