Weightwatchers scammy little peanut chipotle BBQ tempeh tenders
Red Wine, preferably under ten dollars
Soy curly fries
Buy a salad, premade, in a plastic bag
Put back the broccoli, carrots, lettuce, and spinach
Buy Wishbone Blue Cheese Ranchy-like chunky salad dressing
Buy Tony’s Frozen Pizza with cheese inside the crust, topped with exotic free-range animal meat
Put back the Weightwatchers in the “Unhealthy” frozen section that for some strange reason needs to be separate from the “healthy” frozen section. The only determining factor is price.
Buy Jo Jos- topped with chemically treated fake jalapeño gooey sauce
Put back Mary’s virgin olive oil and the soy curly fries
Buy a case of Budweiser or equivalent that’s on sale
Put back red wine or not, THEN pause, making it look like you are deliberating on the issue of wine or beer for a half an hour, so it looks like you’re making important decisions.
2 pounds of hamburger with the highest possible fat content
Wonder Bread 100% Whole Wheat genetically engineered Hamburger buns with seeds from unknown nuts, newly invented, imported, grown in the wilds of the Falklands and pieced together in Shanghai.
Pretend you’re boycotting Dave’s Corporate Fiber bread, place it back on the appropriate shelf, with a little extra slam, finishing off with an angry look on your face, making sure you’re noticed by the nerd at the peanut butter grinding machine.
Keep the avocado and let it rot on the kitchen counter