Perspiring Happens!


Funny, how many armpits there are

Floating around.

Most stay in their place.

Every now and then

One intrudes upon your space

Making it difficult to concentrate

Giving you the feeling that you need to escape

Running to where the air is fresher…..


Free from your boss, Old Spice.

Away from that gossipy wench Dove

Avoiding the smut talk of Gillette

Who is just interested in his Speed Stick

While his fat buddy Mitchum chuckles

At every cute deodorant that walks by.

You want to tell Glide

That her body wash isn’t working!

That’s for Sure.

Brut grunts at you for no reason

Must be football season.

Then there’s Ralph Lauren

Who thinks he knows the goddess Hygiene personally

You want to tell him Hygiene doesn’t exist

Just take a look around the office for proof!

Perspiring is not a Secret!

It happens!



But, armpits aren’t always bad

Sometimes during a warm Irish Spring

When people get a little extra sweaty

You find just the Right Guard

And are more than willing to bury

Your nose into your lover’s armpit

And make that Gold Bond


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