Perspiring Happens!

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Funny, how many armpits there are

Floating around.

Most stay in their place.

Every now and then

One intrudes upon your space

Making it difficult to concentrate

Giving you the feeling that you need to escape

Running to where the air is fresher…..

 

Free from your boss, Old Spice.

Away from that gossipy wench Dove

Avoiding the smut talk of Gillette

Who is just interested in his Speed Stick

While his fat buddy Mitchum chuckles

At every cute deodorant that walks by.

You want to tell Glide

That her body wash isn’t working!

That’s for Sure.

Brut grunts at you for no reason

Must be football season.

Then there’s Ralph Lauren

Who thinks he knows the goddess Hygiene personally

You want to tell him Hygiene doesn’t exist

Just take a look around the office for proof!

Perspiring is not a Secret!

It happens!

 

 

But, armpits aren’t always bad

Sometimes during a warm Irish Spring

When people get a little extra sweaty

You find just the Right Guard

And are more than willing to bury

Your nose into your lover’s armpit

And make that Gold Bond

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This entry was posted in Portraits, The Fashioned Series and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

38 Responses to Perspiring Happens!

  1. wwwpalfitness says:

    Reblogged this on wwwpalfitness.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Just Joan says:

    August is definitely the season of armpits and their “guardian angels.” For me, it’s a matter of Degree. 🙂 I loved the use of product names throughout, and especially the Tussy in the picture. My mom used Tussy cream when I was a kid. (Cream deodorant sounds a bit wet? But I digress.) Anyway, Elan, a beautifully crafted quilt of a poem that totally captures the spirit of summer.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Elan Mudrow says:

      I had never heard of Tussy before I searched for the ad. Interesting slice of Americana.

      Liked by 4 people

      • I am cracking up, LOL! It was the Tussy in the picture that got my attention! My mother bought it for me :). I wonder if you could write something about the natural deodorants like the crystal stick or the coconut oil with corn starch and baking soda, or the many others that are out there? Thanks for the laugh!

        Like

  3. Ralph says:

    Yes,…. It’s Great when we Sudate, As we conflate with our date.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. dornahainds says:

    Love, truly enjoyed how you worked in the products to each line, thought so effortlessly. 😉 Brava.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. What a clever poem that everyone can relate to! Made me smile. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. VictoryInTrouble says:

    😄😄😄

    Liked by 1 person

  7. marple25mary says:

    This is brilliant! Love it.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Haha! Xp Clever! ^_^

    Liked by 1 person

  9. There is a solid plus-side to having a poor sense of smell.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Who would have thought armpits could be so interesting! Love it 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Really great poem, a fun read

    Liked by 2 people

  12. simonfalk28 says:

    What a great “spray” of words to “roll on” the page. It was fun to read and I hope it was fun for you to write.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Meiji Zapico says:

    I loved this! I am both in awe and in surprise of the style with the words. 😀 😀 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  14. TA Sullivan says:

    I really enjoy the way your mind works. Thank you for starting my day with a smile.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. ms. arachne says:

    If only all product placement were this clever and amusing!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Arthur Rosch says:

    Know anything about deodorants for dogs? Somehow I can’t see them sitting still while I apply the stick/spray/goo to their pits. And they’ve got four pits each!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. vivachange77 says:

    Great catalogue of old brands and new. Never thought I’d feel nostalgia for deodorants I have known.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Hahaha this is amazing! 😄😂

    Liked by 1 person

  19. falos3 says:

    Absolutely love this…made me chuckle too 😃

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Candid 'n' Candy says:

    …damn! captured it all…hahahehe. #realcool

    Liked by 1 person

  21. uma197 says:

    thanks for giving me a chuckle

    Like

  22. pscottier says:

    It’s interesting, and frightening, in a minor way, that I get all these references to brands of deodorant in Australia. Globalisation: making the world deny sweat since 1950…

    Liked by 1 person

  23. 😂😂😂 That’s hilarious. Thanks for the laugh 🌟

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Brilliant giggles 😁 That was good, thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. rothpoetry says:

    Nice play on words!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Ari' says:

    I loved this, very funny and well written.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. bellefemme9 says:

    Ha! LOVE it! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

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