Funny, how many armpits there are
Most stay in their place.
Every now and then
One intrudes upon your space
Making it difficult to concentrate
Giving you the feeling that you need to escape
Running to where the air is fresher…..
Free from your boss, Old Spice.
Away from that gossipy wench Dove
Avoiding the smut talk of Gillette
Who is just interested in his Speed Stick
While his fat buddy Mitchum chuckles
At every cute deodorant that walks by.
You want to tell Glide
That her body wash isn’t working!
That’s for Sure.
Brut grunts at you for no reason
Must be football season.
Then there’s Ralph Lauren
Who thinks he knows the goddess Hygiene personally
You want to tell him Hygiene doesn’t exist
Just take a look around the office for proof!
Perspiring is not a Secret!
But, armpits aren’t always bad
Sometimes during a warm Irish Spring
When people get a little extra sweaty
You find just the Right Guard
And are more than willing to bury
Your nose into your lover’s armpit
And make that Gold Bond