Cat Watch

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My cat does not pass judgement

Nor does he profile.

If he were to guess wrong

About my sneaky movements in the kitchen,

He has not made an assumption.

He’s acting upon detailed information.

For I have been known to

Pass out a treat or two……three or four.

And If some friend or snackless fool,

A human like me…..

……..Were to be lurking around my kitchen

For no good reason,

Perhaps for a glass of water

Or to eat an innocent chocolate chip cookie,

My cat pays no mind to them.

 

You see, even though we all

Are enamored with Pokemon Go,

Watch Justin Bieber’s hair with avid interest

And wonder who having sex

On Game Of Thrones,

My cat is smart enough to know

Who passes out treats.

Regardless of how our limbs,

Voices, yawns and wants are placed together—

The trick is that…

He must see an “individual”

Individual

Dig a hand into the treat bag

Dishing out the good stuff

Before he knows for certain

What’s going down

 

He makes no educated guess

No theory

No scholarly charts of bias are involved

No gathering of tendencies

No cat debates that rhetorically argue

About which kind of human gives out snacks

And which kind of human does not

No, guessing happens

 

Maybe if my cat were to watch more

“Reality” television.

He would think

Every human is a potential snack thug.

Then….

No move in the kitchen would

Be ignored,

Everyone in the kitchen

Must be scanned

Profiled, suspicious of treat dealing

In the dark, dark corners of the dining room.

He would watch all of us

Very, very, very, very carefully

And cautiously.

He might even rub against a leg

Just to make sure that no tricky movements

Were perpetrated against his food bowl

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49 Responses to Cat Watch

  1. Wow! Really interesting, and really fun to read!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Walter Rich says:

    This goes deeper than cat behavior. Escellent!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Walter Rich says:

    This comment goes deeper than mere cat behavior. Excellent!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Smita Ray says:

    Yes, we humans are very opinionated even while criticizing those who are opinionated and essentially aware of tendencies while showing dislike towards those who are observant. Quite interesting. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. trE says:

    Cats give me the heebie jeebies. They are so darn smart and sneaky like. LOL. This is a great write, Elan!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Delightful! We could all take some hints cats’ choices of what to pay attention to and what to ignore (ie, refuse to let interfere with their innate priorities). A lot of wisdom behind those whiskers!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. SandySays1 says:

    My cat is also wise –

    Liked by 2 people

  8. rothpoetry says:

    Very good poem! Cats have it made!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. mokitadreams says:

    I’m smiling. Thank you for making me smile 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  10. rules640 says:

    Beautiful poem.
    I have nominated you for the happiness tag. For more information please visit:
    https://lifeat17.wordpress.com/2016/08/19/happiness-tag/

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Sally says:

    I believe that one of Mankind’s greatest pursuits is the study of Cats. Sally

    Liked by 2 people

  12. omtatjuan3 says:

    Toonce my cat fits the bill on this!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. ItsMeAle says:

    I really liked what you did here. Great job!!

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Every human IS a potential snack thug! Wonderful.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Nice piece Elan. I couldn’t help smiling at the last piece.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. I’m basically a dog person, and hated cats…. Till I saw a stray kitten in distess and decided to take it in. That was the turning point in my life. I learnt do many new things about bringing up a cat which were different from a dog. And then realized I was in love with it. And now today I’m a changed person…. Changed in a way, that I adore them and would love to have them in my house with my dogs. The best part was that even both my dogs and my cat were inseparable friends….

    Liked by 3 people

  17. That is why, animals are soooooooooooooo much better than humans, they understand you when you feel off, and they come to your “rescue” when you need them to, and you don’t have to say to them, “hey, come here, i need you now!”, the pets would know when to crawl onto your lap.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Pingback: For the Love of Pets – JUST the Unwinding of Thoughts

  19. Ah, you have been blessed with a cat that does not pass judgement. Both of ours? They make Judge Judy look like Tinkberbell… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  20. lifecameos says:

    Cats can work out such complex plans !

    Liked by 2 people

  21. TA Sullivan says:

    Can we nominate your cat for president?

    Liked by 1 person

  22. artrosch says:

    Elan, I like it. Forgive me for hijacking your blog, I just can’t think of a better response than to add to the uber-gentre of cat poems:

    Breathing.
    My cat goes up and down
    on my chest.
    It is not me that she loves,
    but my breath.
    Up and down, up and down,
    she rides the gentle pendulum,
    infinitely soothed.
    If I have to move,
    have to remove her
    from my breath,
    she departs with a grief,
    and longs to return
    as soon as she can.
    Breathing.
    My cat knows what counts;
    not love, not my smell,
    not my scratching of her ears:
    just my breath.
    Where she lives,
    where I live.
    Breathing.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. vivachange77 says:

    I love this. Your cat is so down to earth. We need more creatures like him – and poets like you. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Cats are fascinating creatures indeed, furry zen masters in my experience. They do see “individuals’ as you mentioned and anyone who tells me they HATE CATS is suspect of being impatient and unobservant until proven otherwise. Absolutely loved this piece, thank you and *purrs* 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Pingback: Cat Watch, by Elan Mudrow (reblogged) | Mollie Hunt: Crazy Cat Lady Mysteries and more

  26. Cascadian Girl says:

    Haha, gotta love cat consciousness! Although everything begins with thought and care, it is action that completes the tale. Thank you for sharing this!

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Marc-André says:

    Loved it! We run a weekly cat poetry section on my blog if you’d like I could reblog it a t some point? ^^

    Liked by 1 person

  28. skat says:

    As a life-long “owner” of multiple cats, I literally choked on “snackless fools”. You have certainly got their number, but it is with great brilliance that you convey it.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Cats may be the more intelligent species. They are problem solvers. My cats can open closed doors, like the bathroom door and the door to the cabinet where I keep their food. Your cat is adorable!

    Liked by 1 person

  30. marple25mary says:

    This is great! I love it. Describes the feline psyche perfectly!

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Pingback: Cat Watch – Wag 'n Bietjie

  32. gertloveday says:

    I think cats are permanently in judgment-passing mode. I had a tabby that used to sit outside the glass doors and stare in at me : “J’accuse!”

    Liked by 1 person

  33. old saying: dogs have owners, cats have staff. continue…

    Like

  34. Tina Frisco says:

    The feline mentality depicted to a tee 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  35. aviottjohn says:

    Haha! I recognize my cats here!

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Pingback: Cat Watch — Часы Кошки — — Продажа земельного участка, купить участок ИЖС

  37. Nancilynn says:

    Thank you for visiting my blog, and reading Fuschia Rain. I enjoy your feline poetry…I love cats but my Romeo is allergic.

    Like

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