My cat does not pass judgement
Nor does he profile.
If he were to guess wrong
About my sneaky movements in the kitchen,
He has not made an assumption.
He’s acting upon detailed information.
For I have been known to
Pass out a treat or two……three or four.
And If some friend or snackless fool,
A human like me…..
……..Were to be lurking around my kitchen
For no good reason,
Perhaps for a glass of water
Or to eat an innocent chocolate chip cookie,
My cat pays no mind to them.
You see, even though we all
Are enamored with Pokemon Go,
Watch Justin Bieber’s hair with avid interest
And wonder who having sex
On Game Of Thrones,
My cat is smart enough to know
Who passes out treats.
Regardless of how our limbs,
Voices, yawns and wants are placed together—
The trick is that…
He must see an “individual”
Dig a hand into the treat bag
Dishing out the good stuff
Before he knows for certain
What’s going down
He makes no educated guess
No scholarly charts of bias are involved
No gathering of tendencies
No cat debates that rhetorically argue
About which kind of human gives out snacks
And which kind of human does not
No, guessing happens
Maybe if my cat were to watch more
He would think
Every human is a potential snack thug.
No move in the kitchen would
Everyone in the kitchen
Must be scanned
Profiled, suspicious of treat dealing
In the dark, dark corners of the dining room.
He would watch all of us
Very, very, very, very carefully
He might even rub against a leg
Just to make sure that no tricky movements
Were perpetrated against his food bowl