Cat Watch

Posted on August 19, 2016 by

49 Comments

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My cat does not pass judgement

Nor does he profile.

If he were to guess wrong

About my sneaky movements in the kitchen,

He has not made an assumption.

He’s acting upon detailed information.

For I have been known to

Pass out a treat or two……three or four.

And If some friend or snackless fool,

A human like me…..

……..Were to be lurking around my kitchen

For no good reason,

Perhaps for a glass of water

Or to eat an innocent chocolate chip cookie,

My cat pays no mind to them.

 

You see, even though we all

Are enamored with Pokemon Go,

Watch Justin Bieber’s hair with avid interest

And wonder who having sex

On Game Of Thrones,

My cat is smart enough to know

Who passes out treats.

Regardless of how our limbs,

Voices, yawns and wants are placed together—

The trick is that…

He must see an “individual”

Individual

Dig a hand into the treat bag

Dishing out the good stuff

Before he knows for certain

What’s going down

 

He makes no educated guess

No theory

No scholarly charts of bias are involved

No gathering of tendencies

No cat debates that rhetorically argue

About which kind of human gives out snacks

And which kind of human does not

No, guessing happens

 

Maybe if my cat were to watch more

“Reality” television.

He would think

Every human is a potential snack thug.

Then….

No move in the kitchen would

Be ignored,

Everyone in the kitchen

Must be scanned

Profiled, suspicious of treat dealing

In the dark, dark corners of the dining room.

He would watch all of us

Very, very, very, very carefully

And cautiously.

He might even rub against a leg

Just to make sure that no tricky movements

Were perpetrated against his food bowl

Category: PoetryTags: , , , , , , , ,

49 Comments on “Cat Watch”

  2. Thank you for visiting my blog, and reading Fuschia Rain. I enjoy your feline poetry…I love cats but my Romeo is allergic.

    Like

  3. Pingback: Cat Watch — Часы Кошки — — Продажа земельного участка, купить участок ИЖС

  8. I think cats are permanently in judgment-passing mode. I had a tabby that used to sit outside the glass doors and stare in at me : “J’accuse!”

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: Cat Watch – Wag 'n Bietjie

  12. Cats may be the more intelligent species. They are problem solvers. My cats can open closed doors, like the bathroom door and the door to the cabinet where I keep their food. Your cat is adorable!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. As a life-long “owner” of multiple cats, I literally choked on “snackless fools”. You have certainly got their number, but it is with great brilliance that you convey it.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Haha, gotta love cat consciousness! Although everything begins with thought and care, it is action that completes the tale. Thank you for sharing this!

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Pingback: Cat Watch, by Elan Mudrow (reblogged) | Mollie Hunt: Crazy Cat Lady Mysteries and more

  19. Cats are fascinating creatures indeed, furry zen masters in my experience. They do see “individuals’ as you mentioned and anyone who tells me they HATE CATS is suspect of being impatient and unobservant until proven otherwise. Absolutely loved this piece, thank you and *purrs* 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Elan, I like it. Forgive me for hijacking your blog, I just can’t think of a better response than to add to the uber-gentre of cat poems:

    Breathing.
    My cat goes up and down
    on my chest.
    It is not me that she loves,
    but my breath.
    Up and down, up and down,
    she rides the gentle pendulum,
    infinitely soothed.
    If I have to move,
    have to remove her
    from my breath,
    she departs with a grief,
    and longs to return
    as soon as she can.
    Breathing.
    My cat knows what counts;
    not love, not my smell,
    not my scratching of her ears:
    just my breath.
    Where she lives,
    where I live.
    Breathing.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. I couldn’t help it. Some cats gaze upon us as monuments worthy of praise. Others tolerate us they wait for something better to come along. Just like the people we meet in real life… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Pingback: For the Love of Pets – JUST the Unwinding of Thoughts

  29. That is why, animals are soooooooooooooo much better than humans, they understand you when you feel off, and they come to your “rescue” when you need them to, and you don’t have to say to them, “hey, come here, i need you now!”, the pets would know when to crawl onto your lap.

    Liked by 2 people

  30. I’m basically a dog person, and hated cats…. Till I saw a stray kitten in distess and decided to take it in. That was the turning point in my life. I learnt do many new things about bringing up a cat which were different from a dog. And then realized I was in love with it. And now today I’m a changed person…. Changed in a way, that I adore them and would love to have them in my house with my dogs. The best part was that even both my dogs and my cat were inseparable friends….

    Liked by 3 people

  43. Delightful! We could all take some hints cats’ choices of what to pay attention to and what to ignore (ie, refuse to let interfere with their innate priorities). A lot of wisdom behind those whiskers!

    Liked by 2 people

  44. Cats give me the heebie jeebies. They are so darn smart and sneaky like. LOL. This is a great write, Elan!

    Liked by 2 people

  45. Yes, we humans are very opinionated even while criticizing those who are opinionated and essentially aware of tendencies while showing dislike towards those who are observant. Quite interesting. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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