Phone Appetizers


  1. Attentionator.  Sends out a howling banshee sound when user is about to walk in front of a bus, because they can’t keep their eyes off their phone.



2. Ironee.  Emits a loud warning to the user (and everybody else in close proximity) who forgot to turn off their cell phone inside a movie theater.



3. Ender.  A game app that features a futuristic, fictional drone war that unknown to the user controls real military drones in Syria and Pakistan. (Great for kids and adults!)



4. Dull.  An app that guarantees boring dates. Success rate 90%. The other 10% just settle for what they can get. (or at least a free dinner and a glass of wine)



5. Paypit (by Grapple!)  This app uses your phone’s vibration feature to remind you that an automatic payment towards the new upcoming version of MePhone has been deducted from your checking account. Grapple’s motto is “pay before instead of too later”.



6. Apocrypha.  An app that has measured out all mathematical possibilities for the last day for humans on Earth. Through a serious combination of statistics gathered from scientific think tank, B.S. labs, it promises to send a cheerful chirp and a cute emoji upon that day.



7. Earplug.  A specially designed music app for tin ears. Sing along as loud as you want and out of key! The music is so bad, no one will know the difference! (American Idiot approved!)



8. Insta-Snatch.  A camera app that automatically searches the web, replacing the photo you took with a better version, picked from one of the millions of other people who have taken a photo of the same thing you photographed. (Free legal assistance offered if your photo, which isn’t your photo, is used commercially)



9. Needlist.  An amazing new app from the makers of Shitlist that keeps track of stuff you don’t need, but buy anyway. A dynamite way to make sure you buy gum, magazines, lighters, candy, and a laser for the cat you don’t have.



10. Shitlist.  A classic app that handles all the people you hate on social medi sites like Facepunk, Insta-ham, Twatter, Word-Collapse, Blogosfear, and Trumpdumb. Complete with ready-to-use insults that are updated daily.


For some more prose check

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26 Responses to Phone Appetizers

  1. TheOriginalPhoenix says:

    You could get into so much trouble with these apps and it would be the best thing ever. XD

    Liked by 3 people

  2. HonieBriggs says:

    I wonder if B.S. Labs is looking for researchers. Funny post.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. piratepatty says:

    Tea just came out of my nose! Freaking hilarious! Insta-Snatch?? lol

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Jai says:

    Needlist! hilarious! 😂😂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Simply-Me says:

    Lol @ S***list .. ideal but why give them the time of the day. Lol a funny post.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Shana Gorian says:

    Love this. Thanks for the good chuckle.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. JJAzar says:

    Insta-Snatch has to be my favorite. Brilliant!

    Liked by 3 people

  8. This list is great! And such app-t descriptions! 😂

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Jon says:

    These apps are just too funny. There really IS an app for everything!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ogden Fahey says:

    Ha,a , these are great – I miss read one as “the Alienator” expecting it to read, “gets rid of unwanted friends and annoying acquaintances” LOL Fun stuff 🙂


  11. says:

    How sad that you are 100% right on this. But you do it so well, it’s truly fun to read. thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. lifecameos says:

    So funny and so accurate ! We need these apps now, today ! Social media are seriously reshaping our world !

    Liked by 4 people

  13. nonnyr says:

    Omg, this had me in a fit of giggles!

    Liked by 3 people

  14. Just Joan says:

    LOL, I need one of each and I know EXACTLY who I’ll give them to. Thanks, Elan, for a much-needed laugh. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  15. vivachange77 says:

    Great apps! I like your creative names for them.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. This is AWESOME!!! I enjoyed it so very very much. You are brilliant♡

    Liked by 2 people

  17. kenneth says:

    ! We need these apps now, today !


  18. ! We need these apps now, today !


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