Ever look in your spam folder? I have to say that WordPress does a wonderful job diverting spam from my inbox. But, every now and then, I take a peek. The following are direct quotes, typos and all.
Spammer #1- “You know a complete lot its almost hard to argue along.”
You’re absolutely right. Don’t argue along. For that would be taking my side and I know a complete lot.
Spammer #2- “Writing manually takes a lot of time, but there is a tool for this time consuming task.”
The tool is called watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island and eating Cheetos!
Spammer #3-“I’ve got much clear idea concerning from this post”
I’m glad you’ve got much clear idea, because I’m totally confused by what you just wrote!
Spammer #4- “Why people still make use of to read news papers when in this technological globe the whole thing is available on web?”
Things are indeed strange in this technological globe. It should be a crime to make use of to read news papers. Except they actually hire “real” journalists.
Spammer #5- “This enables that you simply much better picture of how your business is creating. We are all human beings.”
So, that’s what my business is doing, creating. And I didn’t even know I had a business. Plus, I’m glad you cleared it up that we’re all human beings. I was beginning to wonder.
Spammer #6-“ These pieces really set a standard in the indrytus.”
I am so happy I’m setting standards somewhere. Hello to those of you in the indrytus! I won’t let you down.
Spammer #7 “Weeeee, what a quick and easy soiunlot.”
Wasn’t that cool? Soiunlots can be so tricky.
Spammer #8 “This was so helpful and easy! Do you have any articles in rehab?”
Well, unfortunately, a couple of them have checked in to rehab. I heard they were doing well.
Spammer #9“Hey hey hey, take a gardener to what’ you’ve done.”
That’s a great idea. I’ve never thought about inviting one.
Spammer #10 “That’s a posting full of ingiths!”
Is that a good thing? Where’d they come from? I didn’t put them there.
Spammer #11 “Just do me a favor and keep writing such trnhcnaet analyses, OK?”
By all means. I’m a master of trnhcnaetian theory.
Spammer #12 “If you’re looking to buy these articles, make it way easier.”
Mmmh. I’ve never thought about buying my own posts. That indeed is easier. There, I just gave myself 10 bucks. Whoo Hoo!!!
Spammer #13- “Thanks for spending time on the computer (wiritng) so others don’t have to.”
That’s why I do this. I’m here to make it so no one else has to spend time wirting on computers.
Spammer #14- “My salad has done better this summer but just in the last couple of months when the weather improved.”
I’m so happy to hear your salad is doing better.
Spammer #15- “Continue to be down the great operate! You realize, many individuals ‘re looking near to do this facts, it is easy to aid these products.”
Roger that. I will continue to be down the great operate to aid the products.
Spammer #16- “I like to party, not look arcleits up online. You made it happen.”
I’m glad I made that happen. I wouldn’t want you to resort to looking up arcleits online.
Spammer #17- “It is possible (and frequently done) to build over 200k crop armies (aka, World Wonder armies) from a six cropper.”
You’re right. I just built a few armies last week and I only had a two cropper! Whatever that is.
Spammer #18- “Why does this have to be the ONLY reliable source? Oh well, gj!”
Well, what can I say? Poetry is more reliable. That’s all you need to know.
Spammer #19- “I’m making posts about scientific explanations behind everyday appearances.”
I knew there was something scientific behind making everyday appearances.
Spammer #20 –“Stretching is discomfort.”
I’ve told my cat the very same thing! However, he doesn’t listen and keeps on stretching! He looks pretty comfortable though.
I think some of those are quite beautiful in their own way. I recently got a spam email from a predatory journal that included:
“Your time is my preference to confer about our Journals concern… … your informative article would apt to our Journal ability.”
But my all-time favourite bit of questionable translation came from one of my students, who in a description of how a Geiger counter works managed to turn “ion cascade” into “waterfall of ironies”.
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They are written by bots. WordPress has a good explanation behind their motives. Check it out.
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Spammers – a valid argument for birth control.