Alice

Posted on November 20, 2019 by

31 Comments

She sets a folded towel upon cool sheets, her ass makes a depression on the mattress.

Silence is never a full-proof method of understanding each other, even if hands are involved.

They touch, then they talk. Talking is never a full-proof method of…

His leg dangles off her bed. She gets up, opens the closet door.

There’s a mirror attached to the back of the closet door. She sees my reflection and doesn’t know it’s her. She touches the mirror, thinking, as she always has, that it will lead somewhere.

She leaves fingerprints.

 

 

 

 

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Category: PortraitsTags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

31 Comments on “Alice”

  10. Alice trying to get through the looking glass – I like it! I once wrote a short story in which the mirror was a trap; the young woman tried to go through, but ended up only going INTO.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I love this one. Scant but pointed descriptions of the girl by an insightful version of herself–one she doesn’t even recognize–watching from the sidelines. “Full proof” seemed like it should have been “fool proof” but in the end, I liked your way better, it fit the scenario. His leg dangling off “her” bed says it is not “theirs.” She wants intimacy but holds back. “She touches the mirror, thinking, as she always has, that it will lead somewhere” made me think of escape, or that old trick where you can “see” eternity by holding a mirror to a mirror. The fingerprints left me guessing, as a good ending often does. Well-played, Elan. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. “a blink of a word” – I like that 🙂 Yeah, the flow was too effective for something NOT to be there – enjoyed it much, Elan — as usual 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Yes, a change from 3rd person to 1st and back to 3rd in a blink of an eye or should I say a blink of a word. Thanks!! Yes, there’s something there.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Intriguing and perplexing, Elan – in a kind of interpersonal thriller way playing on a stage 🙂

    There’s (I think) a change of POV from 3rd to 1st person in stanza 5; it appears “off” yet intrigues me at the same time — what did I miss? What just happened?

    Definitions intriguing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Hi, Elan. Thanks for sharing such a well penned piece of writing. Love the imagery. The narrative and supporting image reflect the pained loneliness of the characters, even though they are share each others company. Have a great weekend. Goff

    Liked by 3 people

  27. This was amazing. Very first thing I read of yours and from the first line I had chills. Thank you for sharing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  29. She leaves fingerprints…that’s such a meaningful line. I love the ending. It’s always such a great experience to read your work 💖

    Liked by 5 people

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