Smidgens
She sets a folded towel upon cool sheets, her ass makes a depression on the mattress.
Silence is never a full-proof method of understanding each other, even if hands are involved.
They touch, then they talk. Talking is never a full-proof method of…
His leg dangles off her bed. She gets up, opens the closet door.
There’s a mirror attached to the back of the closet door. She sees my reflection and doesn’t know it’s her. She touches the mirror, thinking, as she always has, that it will lead somewhere.
She leaves fingerprints.
.
Beautiful writing ❤
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Great twist!
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Thanks so much!!
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This is such an amazing read
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Thanks so much!
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Really like this one, and I love the image you paired with it!
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very compelling, like a modern Alice in Wonderland.
🙂
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It is abnormally touching and wonderful ♥️♥️♥️
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This is a trap as well. Just a living one.
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Alice trying to get through the looking glass – I like it! I once wrote a short story in which the mirror was a trap; the young woman tried to go through, but ended up only going INTO.
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Thanks 😉
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There is not a “dead” leg. It is very much alive.
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And I want to know, was it a dead leg dangling? Is that why fingerprints?
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I am in love with this piece. The vividness is excellent. Thought provoking too. Well done.
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Among the best things I read today.
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Your words create images like sideways glances that only slightly reveal what’s going on. Love this!
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I love this one. Scant but pointed descriptions of the girl by an insightful version of herself–one she doesn’t even recognize–watching from the sidelines. “Full proof” seemed like it should have been “fool proof” but in the end, I liked your way better, it fit the scenario. His leg dangling off “her” bed says it is not “theirs.” She wants intimacy but holds back. “She touches the mirror, thinking, as she always has, that it will lead somewhere” made me think of escape, or that old trick where you can “see” eternity by holding a mirror to a mirror. The fingerprints left me guessing, as a good ending often does. Well-played, Elan. 🙂
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Gorgeous, Elan. Gorgeous. ❤
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Elan. Wow.
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“a blink of a word” – I like that 🙂 Yeah, the flow was too effective for something NOT to be there – enjoyed it much, Elan — as usual 🙂
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Yes, a change from 3rd person to 1st and back to 3rd in a blink of an eye or should I say a blink of a word. Thanks!! Yes, there’s something there.
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Intriguing and perplexing, Elan – in a kind of interpersonal thriller way playing on a stage 🙂
There’s (I think) a change of POV from 3rd to 1st person in stanza 5; it appears “off” yet intrigues me at the same time — what did I miss? What just happened?
Definitions intriguing 🙂
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Wow! I was captivated. I read this without exhaling!
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I love the imagery and language you use to describe the feeling and situation , keep it up !
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My pleasure, it was beautiful 🤗
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Hi, Elan. Thanks for sharing such a well penned piece of writing. Love the imagery. The narrative and supporting image reflect the pained loneliness of the characters, even though they are share each others company. Have a great weekend. Goff
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This was amazing. Very first thing I read of yours and from the first line I had chills. Thank you for sharing 🙂
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Thanks so much. I spent a bit of time with that last sentence.
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She leaves fingerprints…that’s such a meaningful line. I love the ending. It’s always such a great experience to read your work 💖
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Love 💕 this!
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i like the visuals ❤️
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