Elan Mudrow
Smidgens
Category: Lists
Lists are fun little non-poems that fool around with language, ideas, and American culture
Beach Memories
Memories from the Ancient Vacation My crown was made of construction paper, adorned with crayon-drawn jewels. A gift that was handed down from generations past (starting with my big sister). Ribbon kelp, broken sand dollars, seagull feathers, were my minions. The waves marked the… Continue Reading “Beach Memories”
Spammer’s Delight
Ever look in your spam folder? I have to say that WordPress does a wonderful job diverting spam from my inbox. But, every now and then, I take a peek. The following are direct quotes, typos and all. Spammer #1- “You know a… Continue Reading “Spammer’s Delight”
Trump’s Commandments (With personal notes from Donald Trump)
I am the Lord, thy God. (Yeah! I didn’t’ have to change that one at all. Easy money) You shall not deal with any other corporations other than mine. (Or I will force you into bankruptcy) No graven images or likenesses (Unless, I have… Continue Reading “Trump’s Commandments (With personal notes from Donald Trump)”
Present Day List
Reality is the root of all problems. Stay away from it at all times. Dress neatly for virtual interviews and dating sites. Remember, it’s all upper torso! It’s a blouse, blouse, blouse world. Think of the money you’ll save on pants! Food should be… Continue Reading “Present Day List”
New Year’s Irresolutions
Start smoking (So, next year I can claim the resolution to stop smoking) Join Weightwatchers (How does watching weight help? Shouldn’t I be exercising?) Finish that novel (If only I had started the damn thing) Be more optimistic (This one sucks and I suck… Continue Reading “New Year’s Irresolutions”
Phone Appetizers
Attentionator. Sends out a howling banshee sound when user is about to walk in front of a bus, because they can’t keep their eyes off their phone. 2. Ironee. Emits a loud warning to the user (and everybody else in close proximity) who… Continue Reading “Phone Appetizers”
Street Fair
1. 1. Repeat offender vendors Who set up to break down 2. The song remains the same Only the avenue changes. 3. Livingroom rehearsed musicians Exposing themselves to the elements Of being ignored 4. Shaky Kombucha addicts Wait in line for… Continue Reading “Street Fair”
Elan Mudrow 
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