Category Archives: Lists

Lists are fun little non-poems that fool around with language, ideas, and American culture

Trump’s Commandments (With personal notes from Donald Trump)

I am the Lord, thy God. (Yeah! I didn’t’ have to change that one at all. Easy money) You shall not deal with any other corporations other than mine. (Or I will force you into bankruptcy) No graven images or … Continue reading

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Present Day List

Reality is the root of all problems. Stay away from it at all times. Dress neatly for virtual interviews and dating sites. Remember, it’s all upper torso! It’s a blouse, blouse, blouse world. Think of the money you’ll save on … Continue reading

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New Year’s Irresolutions

Start smoking (So, next year I can claim the resolution to stop smoking) Join Weightwatchers (How does watching weight help? Shouldn’t I be exercising?) Finish that novel (If only I had started the damn thing) Be more optimistic (This one … Continue reading

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Phone Appetizers

Attentionator.  Sends out a howling banshee sound when user is about to walk in front of a bus, because they can’t keep their eyes off their phone.   2. Ironee.  Emits a loud warning to the user (and everybody else … Continue reading

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Street Fair

1. 1. Repeat offender vendors Who set up to break down   2. The song remains the same Only the avenue changes.   3. Livingroom rehearsed musicians Exposing themselves to the elements Of being ignored   4. Shaky Kombucha addicts … Continue reading

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World Wide Word Debt

Word Debt has been published.

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American Work Day

Try to get up Notice in the mirror, as you get ready for work, a cowlick that just won’t go away. Curse at every known god in the universe. Glue it down (partially) with Dippity Doo Ultra Toxic Glue Gel … Continue reading

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American Grocery List

Broccoli Carrots Romaine Lettuce Avocado Spinach Mary’s Virgin Olive Oil Dave’s Corporate Fiber Bread Weightwatchers scammy little peanut chipotle BBQ tempeh tenders Red Wine, preferably under ten dollars Soy curly fries Buy a salad, premade, in a plastic bag Put … Continue reading

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