Tag Archives: Comedy

New Year’s Irresolutions

Start smoking (So, next year I can claim the resolution to stop smoking) Join Weightwatchers (How does watching weight help? Shouldn’t I be exercising?) Finish that novel (If only I had started the damn thing) Be more optimistic (This one … Continue reading

Posted in Lists | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 46 Comments

An Uncompromising Editor

I feel a slight brush Of fur and tail upon my calves Then, a head bunt. Mr. Fry is concerned About my Word document My Scrivener, my Office Suite PDFs and printables Sharing and synced Blogged, published, backed up……… Apparently, … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Virtual Advice

If you’re dating a dud of a download And it’s occurring during an internet outing Find a different server…… Don’t let a rude browser screw up your day We can talk Facebook to Facebook, Instant message me No need to … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay

I sat down for a beer at a bar called “Dock Of The Bay”.  One was brought by a handsome little bartender named ….. Ah, fuck I don’t know. I was halfway through my beer, reading a piece-of-shit novel named … Continue reading

Posted in Flash Fiction | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

American Work Day

Try to get up Notice in the mirror, as you get ready for work, a cowlick that just won’t go away. Curse at every known god in the universe. Glue it down (partially) with Dippity Doo Ultra Toxic Glue Gel … Continue reading

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Hair Yell

It’s ok to use a little hairspray To keep it out of your eyes Glue it down, rearrange it Before you lose your mind And yell at the mirror Blaming your cowlick On that worn pillow You named Mr. Flattie … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 50 Comments

American Grocery List

Broccoli Carrots Romaine Lettuce Avocado Spinach Mary’s Virgin Olive Oil Dave’s Corporate Fiber Bread Weightwatchers scammy little peanut chipotle BBQ tempeh tenders Red Wine, preferably under ten dollars Soy curly fries Buy a salad, premade, in a plastic bag Put … Continue reading

Posted in Lists | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 160 Comments

You Are Never Gonna Be Written

Well,   There’s a sliver of night That says to me, write However, I gotta worry About evening’s strange plight    ‘Cause,   Night is undependable Unpredictable, and unreliable It’s the “UnCola” ….it’s liable To be too soft and pliable … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , | 39 Comments

Published

   

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 39 Comments

Published

 

Posted in Poetry, The Fashioned Series | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 45 Comments