Tag: Funny

Thinglewart

So true, so true Thinglewart is blue And who knew, who knew, what to do? For Thinglewart is a preposterous pest Indeed he wears a stiff, starched vest No stretchy, stretch for Thinglewart ever Just keeps on shoveling shit ‘til never ‘Til the sky…

Beach Memories

Memories from the Ancient Vacation My crown was made of construction paper, adorned with crayon-drawn jewels. A gift that was handed down from generations past (starting with my big sister). Ribbon kelp, broken sand dollars, seagull feathers, were my minions. The waves marked the…

A Bad Case Of Hubbub

Lucy runs into the house with fright on her face. “Mom!? Jimmy told me I’ve got bad case of the glimmer! Feel my forehead. Jimmy said I needed to get a shot!” Mom plays along, feels Lucy’s forehead. “Yes, I am afraid so. Looks…

Peaceful Shit

The doors are open Yet, it’s silent I should hear children… The ones of the neighborhood Screaming at play Or the voice of Mr. Rush In his backyard Talking on his cell About installing water pumps. Where’s the lawn mowers The Leaf blowers And…

Spammer’s Delight

Ever look in your spam folder? I have to say that WordPress does a wonderful job diverting spam from my inbox. But, every now and then, I take a peek. The following are direct quotes, typos and all.   Spammer #1- “You know a…

Facts

This is empty. It is not words. No. Don’t let it fool you. It’s up to its tricks…….. Twisting meanings…….. And it’s ugly……. Take a look! Little symbols on a page. Not artistic at all! Graffiti is better Especially when stenciled. For it is…

Dorothy as Pharmakos

You find yourself out of the binaries, out of the black and white, where the plains no longer exist. You find yourself in color. This comes after years of crafting your skill, to escape the gravity of black and white. You find that little…

Trump’s Commandments (With personal notes from Donald Trump)

I am the Lord, thy God. (Yeah! I didn’t’ have to change that one at all. Easy money) You shall not deal with any other corporations other than mine. (Or I will force you into bankruptcy) No graven images or likenesses (Unless, I have…

Present Day List

Reality is the root of all problems. Stay away from it at all times. Dress neatly for virtual interviews and dating sites. Remember, it’s all upper torso! It’s a blouse, blouse, blouse world. Think of the money you’ll save on pants! Food should be…

An Uncompromising Editor

I feel a slight brush Of fur and tail upon my calves Then, a head bunt. Mr. Fry is concerned About my Word document My Scrivener, my Office Suite PDFs and printables Sharing and synced Blogged, published, backed up……… Apparently, My prose is threatening…

Phone Appetizers

Attentionator.  Sends out a howling banshee sound when user is about to walk in front of a bus, because they can’t keep their eyes off their phone.   2. Ironee.  Emits a loud warning to the user (and everybody else in close proximity) who…

About The Bird

I was invited to one of those huggy, huggy group meetings. You know, the type where everyone reveals inner lies about themselves, others, and the world around them. Well, we soon started picking out animal personalities for each other, which sucked, because someone else…

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