Elan Mudrow
Smidgens
Tag: Humor
Present Day List
Reality is the root of all problems. Stay away from it at all times. Dress neatly for virtual interviews and dating sites. Remember, it’s all upper torso! It’s a blouse, blouse, blouse world. Think of the money you’ll save on pants! Food should be… Continue Reading “Present Day List”
New Year’s Irresolutions
Start smoking (So, next year I can claim the resolution to stop smoking) Join Weightwatchers (How does watching weight help? Shouldn’t I be exercising?) Finish that novel (If only I had started the damn thing) Be more optimistic (This one sucks and I suck… Continue Reading “New Year’s Irresolutions”
An Uncompromising Editor
I feel a slight brush Of fur and tail upon my calves Then, a head bunt. Mr. Fry is concerned About my Word document My Scrivener, my Office Suite PDFs and printables Sharing and synced Blogged, published, backed up……… Apparently, My prose is threatening… Continue Reading “An Uncompromising Editor”
Phone Appetizers
Attentionator. Sends out a howling banshee sound when user is about to walk in front of a bus, because they can’t keep their eyes off their phone. 2. Ironee. Emits a loud warning to the user (and everybody else in close proximity) who… Continue Reading “Phone Appetizers”
Virtual Advice
If you’re dating a dud of a download And it’s occurring during an internet outing Find a different server…… Don’t let a rude browser screw up your day We can talk Facebook to Facebook, Instant message me No need to Skype, post, tweet, or… Continue Reading “Virtual Advice”
About The Bird
I was invited to one of those huggy, huggy group meetings. You know, the type where everyone reveals inner lies about themselves, others, and the world around them. Well, we soon started picking out animal personalities for each other, which sucked, because someone else… Continue Reading “About The Bird”
Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay
I sat down for a beer at a bar called “Dock Of The Bay”. One was brought by a handsome little bartender named ….. Ah, fuck I don’t know. I was halfway through my beer, reading a piece-of-shit novel named Howard’s Hind End when… Continue Reading “Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay”
Street Fair
1. 1. Repeat offender vendors Who set up to break down 2. The song remains the same Only the avenue changes. 3. Livingroom rehearsed musicians Exposing themselves to the elements Of being ignored 4. Shaky Kombucha addicts Wait in line for… Continue Reading “Street Fair”
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